Happy Friday!
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I'm Nicole, and I blog over at Becoming the Robie's. I've kept a blog for about 5 years, but just recently decided to take it seriously and started a brand new one! (I love you my 3 official followers! :P) I thought it was perfect timing to start afresh as my life took a pendulum swing from single gal, eating ice cream in bed and taking as many target shopping sprees as my heart desired to married gal, budgeting, twice as much laundry and sharing the same sized bed with a big strong man instead of my 30 lb. dog. Needless to say, married life has thrown a few curve balls.
I'm so excited to be guest blogging here today! Miss Holly and I are new friends and I love her blog and am so thankful she's asked me to stop by!
I was recently married this past August to a charismatic, stubborn satirical musician. (Although I wish I could say that we walk around with him and his guitar making a soundtrack to our life, that is not the case.) I've been married for a little over a month, and I feel like I've already learned so much about relationships, love and myself than I have the last 22 years of my life. Which leads me to something that I have been forced to realize...
I have a pride problem. I know, I'm the only one. I had written a post about my little problem a few weeks ago. Ben and I had some friends over and we were talking about how if we treated and spoke to our spouse the way we do with friends (friends that we'd like to keep as friends), married life could be revolutionary. Ben happen to be standing right in front of the target my attitude was aimed at one morning. After some coffee (caffeine? check.) and some quiet time (introspection? check.) I knew I had some apologizing to do. Right at that moment, it was like a battle inside my mind, but I wasn't fighting myself, it was...weird. I kept saying to myself, "How hard is it to stay 'I'm sorry' Nicole? Really?" I let the opportunity pass and drove all the way to work, got out of the car and walked away from my wonderful husband, un-apologized and un-forgiven. It ruined my whole day.
I started to have a conversation with God about what the crap happened. I felt like such a horrible person and now my tail was between my legs for acting so childish and prideful.
I had this epiphany.
Marriage is the closest thing we get to participate in that resembles the wonderful relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Satan HATES that relationship and HATES marriage because of of its purpose to reflect the gospel to each other in a way that is like no other, glorifying God in a unique way. Satan wants me to stay prideful and stay childish so he can push the wedge of sin and brokenness of the world between us.
After days of allowing my pride and attitude to conquer me, I found myself, once again, looking the perfect opportunity to apologize for my behavior in the eye. Before I could think about it, I blurted out, "I'm Sorry!"
I confessed that no matter what or why I am frustrated, there is no excuse to be ugly and mean. I continued to share with Ben what had happened a few days before with my battle with the Enemy and his nasty lies.
Only a day or two after conquering this huge battle, Ben and I were arguing about something (I think it was something along the lines of, "You used every spatula in the house to make that cake!" ...or something...like that...) and I felt that nasty little problem begin to rise in me (It came in the form of high blood pressure). After a few more words shared, Ben left and I decided to jump on here and see what was going on within the community of my blogger friends. That's when I received Holly's sweet comment on my post regarding all of this, asking me if I'd like to guest post about it on hers.
Let's say it together: Foot. In. Mouth.
I was able to take a moment and give a little sarcastic laugh to myself and the dog, and I was hesitant to respond.
God, what are you trying to do to me? If I write about this on another blog, I'll have two places my husband will remind me of when I ... "forget" about my ... problem.
As I thought more about why I blog and the purpose to encourage, be encouraged and have a community of people to share life with, I knew I needed to surrendered my pride (once again), and there was only one answer, and that was, "Holly, I'd love too! It's unfortunately a topic, I know all too well about." Annnnnd here I am.
I had this epiphany.
Marriage is the closest thing we get to participate in that resembles the wonderful relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Satan HATES that relationship and HATES marriage because of of its purpose to reflect the gospel to each other in a way that is like no other, glorifying God in a unique way. Satan wants me to stay prideful and stay childish so he can push the wedge of sin and brokenness of the world between us.
After days of allowing my pride and attitude to conquer me, I found myself, once again, looking the perfect opportunity to apologize for my behavior in the eye. Before I could think about it, I blurted out, "I'm Sorry!"
I confessed that no matter what or why I am frustrated, there is no excuse to be ugly and mean. I continued to share with Ben what had happened a few days before with my battle with the Enemy and his nasty lies.
Only a day or two after conquering this huge battle, Ben and I were arguing about something (I think it was something along the lines of, "You used every spatula in the house to make that cake!" ...or something...like that...) and I felt that nasty little problem begin to rise in me (It came in the form of high blood pressure). After a few more words shared, Ben left and I decided to jump on here and see what was going on within the community of my blogger friends. That's when I received Holly's sweet comment on my post regarding all of this, asking me if I'd like to guest post about it on hers.
Let's say it together: Foot. In. Mouth.
I was able to take a moment and give a little sarcastic laugh to myself and the dog, and I was hesitant to respond.
God, what are you trying to do to me? If I write about this on another blog, I'll have two places my husband will remind me of when I ... "forget" about my ... problem.
As I thought more about why I blog and the purpose to encourage, be encouraged and have a community of people to share life with, I knew I needed to surrendered my pride (once again), and there was only one answer, and that was, "Holly, I'd love too! It's unfortunately a topic, I know all too well about." Annnnnd here I am.
After a good conversation with a dear friend, I thought outloud, "What if for...1 month, I just decided that no matter what Ben did or said, I just decided to humble myself and say, "You know what. You're right. I'm sorry." What would that do for my marriage?"
Ben and I aren't perfect (duh) and we surely will argue again and my pride hasn't disappeared out of thin air, but I'm truly seeking my strength to be a wife of noble character and a wife where my husband can receive rest, not only in our home, but in my spirit from Jesus. We agreed that whenever we feel that nudge from the Holy Spirit to apologize to each other that we would do our best to say it out loud right away and together, we'll work to keep that wedge of brokenness and sin far away from our newly wed lives.
And now, you get to hold me accountable too. :)
Ben and I aren't perfect (duh) and we surely will argue again and my pride hasn't disappeared out of thin air, but I'm truly seeking my strength to be a wife of noble character and a wife where my husband can receive rest, not only in our home, but in my spirit from Jesus. We agreed that whenever we feel that nudge from the Holy Spirit to apologize to each other that we would do our best to say it out loud right away and together, we'll work to keep that wedge of brokenness and sin far away from our newly wed lives.
And now, you get to hold me accountable too. :)
Thanks for letting me visit today! Hope you'll stop by my blog and let me know what you think and how you've been encouraged or what you've learned through marriage and your spouse.
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Isn't she fabulous?! And what a great reminder to apologize. I know that I am frequently guilty of not apologizing when I should. We should ALL make the goal to apologize more frequently and promptly :)
Now head on over to Nicole's and give her some love!
4 comments:
Great post. Great encouragement. Hard thing to do. Aren't we glad we get to try over and over again. That's what the Atonement helps us do.
so so happy we met for real!!! i love you. you are amazing. so glad we are friends. annnnnnd i can't wait to see you again at the pumpkin patch! :)
So glad I got to meet you tonight! It was so fun :) enjoy Yogurtland!
that's too funny you know paul! small, small world :)
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